Special Window Washers (p)

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Christine Caine

A Word In Season!

Introver, Dear- THE SCIENCE BEHIND WHY INTROVERTS STRUGGLE TO SPEAK

    

 THE SCIENCE BEHIND WHY INTROVERTS STRUGGLE TO SPEAK

INTROVERT, DEAR

BY JENN GRANNEMAN  SCIENCEMAY 13, 2015

A co-worker appears out of the blue and asks me a question. Her eyes and tone of voice say she wants an answer now. Her request is easy, but my mind is momentarily paralyzed.

I start sentences then stop them. I hesitate. I say words that are close to what I mean, but not exactly. I backtrack.

My co-worker — an extrovert who always seems to express herself effortlessly — looks at me like, come on, spit it out. I think, if only my brain would cooperate.

Why introverts struggle with word retrieval

When we’re speaking out loud, we introverts often have trouble finding the word we want. We may come off sounding like we don’t know what we’re talking about, even though we probably do. In social situations, we may have trouble keeping up with fast-talking extroverts.

Our brains use many different areas for speaking and writing, writes Dr. Marti Olsen Laney in her book, The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths. Information needs to flow between the separate areas, and as introverts, we process information deeply, which means it flows slowly.

Word retrieval is a problem for some introverts because, along with deeper processing, we use long-term memory instead of short-term memory. It takes longer to access long-term memory, and we need the right association (something that reminds us of the word) to reach into our long-term memory and pull out the exact word we want, writes Laney.

If we’re anxious — which may happen when we’re with people we don’t know well, or when we’re in a high-pressure situation like a first date — it may be even more difficult to locate and articulate a word.

Why it’s easier to express ourselves in writing

Introverts “often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation,” writes Susan Cain in her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

Introverts often prefer text messages and emails to phone calls. Many of us keep journals or compose lyrics, poems, or stories, and some of us make careers out of writing.

The reason for this preference once again has to do with how our brains are wired: written words use different pathways in the brain, which seem to flow fluently for many introverts, writes Laney.

What to do when your mind goes blank

Memory is complex, and it uses many different areas of the brain. Our brains store memories in several locations and create links between them, called associations.

To yank something out of long-term memory, we need to locate an association. The good thing is, most pieces of information in long-term memory were stored with several associations or keys for unlocking them.

“If we find just one key, we can retrieve the whole memory,” writes Laney.

When you struggle to remember a word, a piece of information, or even what you did over the weekend (because that question often comes up in small talk!), try these things:

• Be still and relax.
• Give yourself permission to be quiet for a few moments. Don’t let the other person rush you.
• Buy yourself time to process things by saying something like, “Let me think about that,” or “Hmm, let me see…” Or, give a nonverbal signal that shows you’re thinking, like looking away and furrowing your brow slightly.
• Let your mind wander for a moment and go where it wants. One thought may lead to another, and one of those thoughts may hold the “key” to unlocking the words you want from your long-term memory.

If all else fails, and words escape you, don’t feel embarrassed — your brain is doing what comes naturally to it, and that is to pause and reflect. If you’re being quiet, you’re in good company with other deep-thinking introverts: Stephen Hawking once said, “Quiet people have the loudest minds.”

Then, try breezing over any awkwardness in the conversation by using humor to make light of your tongue-tied state, or say you’re a little distracted right now, and you’ll get back to the other person later — by sending an email or text.

When an introvert is quiet, don’t assume he is depressed, snobbish or socially deficient. Laurie Helgoe,Introvert Power

Image credit: Deviant Art (Ezgi Polat)

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Read this: Introverts’ and extroverts’ brains really are different, according to science

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Read this: Science says there are 4 kinds of introversion. What’s yours?

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 Read this: Introverts like mountains better than flat land, science says

BOOK REVIEW- The Gambler's Amish Baby

BOOK- The Gambler's Amish Baby-  What would be worse than being a widow, expecting a baby and trying to run her farm alone? 
Libby Wagler was soon to find out. Libby wished for nothing more than her brother's return from rumspringa. 
Brock Harding won half a farm in a poker game. What will he do when he visits the farm to be faced with an angry Amish woman? 
Libby wants nothing more than for the man who cheated her brother to get off her farm. 
However, with the farm failing, could a bad mannered, rough looking cowboy be Libby's answer to prayer?  AMAZON

The unusual plot got my attention right away and of course the really cute picture on the cover did too.    The story ended up being different than I even expected because of the hidden things in Brock's past.  There were plenty of twists and turns about who he really was. and what he had been through.  

Libby had her fair share of men who just weren't there for her no matter what they had promised.   She's overworked, discouraged, pregnant and doing everything she can to save the farm for her baby's sake.   She is totally convinced that Brock has cheated her brother so that he could get her brother's share of the farm. She fights against him, not even allowing him into her house because at least that is hers.  And its something she doesn't have to share with an outsider, and worst of all a gambler at that.   Brock shows Libby unexpected kindness at times and that confuses her even more.  He does his share of work but mysteriously disappears anytime someone from the Amish community shows up.   What is  with that?  You have to read the book to find out, of course.

BOOK REVIEW- Undercover Bride

BOOK- UNDERCOVER BRIDE- Pinkerton detective Maggie Cartwright is tasked with going undercover as a mail order bride. Her “fiancé” is widower Garrett Thomas, aka the suspected Whistle-Stop Bandit. No sooner does Maggie arrive in Arizona Territory when she's confronted with an early wedding date—the clock is ticking on her detective work or she may end up a criminal's wife! As the day of the wedding draws near, Maggie begins to panic. The problem is that the more she gets to know Garrett and his two adorable children, the harder it is to keep up the deception. Can a man as kind and gentle as Garrett really be the Whistle-Stop Bandit? AMAZON

This was definitely an unusual way to get things done; to pose as a mail order bride.  I liked that this storyline was presented.  The story did go at a slower pace but I did like both of the Main Characters as well as Garrett's two children.  Toby and  Elise were a joy to get to know and were unique in their own ways.   Garrett didn't want to fall in love again so he saw ordering up a bride as a logical solution.  Maggie went into this job conviced Garrett was guilty but it didn't take long for her to begin to wonder about that.   And to be concerned that she was falling for him.  She was on a mission, a job and she just couldn't let her emotions sway her away from the facts.     I liked the fact that both Maggie and Garrett each had their own bagage of pain and it began to unfold as time went on.
Garett's Aunt Hetty was a hoot.  She was also sharp of mind and eye and someone that Maggie saw as someone who might be the hardest person to fool.  She sure complained about every ache and pain but she wasn't a fool.  I really liked the relationship between Maggie and her co-worker Rikker.   They worked together in pretty good syc.  It made me smile when I read that he was known to come up with the plans and she came up with the theories.
Be prepared for some twists and turns because about the time I thought "ok, now we've got all the bad guys rounded up or at least exposed", a surprise showed up.  And the final surprise is when it came to the identity of the second person, the accomplice in that robbery.

I received a copy of this book via Netalley in exchange for an honest review. 

"Faith of our Fathers!" Richard Crisco

BOOK REVIEW- Falcon

BOOK- "FALCON"-Special Forces operator Salvatore “Falcon” Russo vowed to never again speak to or trust Lieutenant Cassandra Walker after a tragedy four years ago. But as Raptor closes in on the cyber terrorists responsible for killing two of their own, Sal must put his life—and the lives of his teammates—in her hands. Despite his anger, Cassie is ill-prepared for his resistance and the fallout when she must protect the one asset who can end the attacks. As allies become enemies and hostiles become unlikely partners, Raptor fights for its very existence.    AMAZON

Wow, what an action filled story. It has everything you expect in a military themed story. A great team of guys; warriors who are so different from each other. But they have formed a brotherhood, a loyalty to protect the innocent and each other. There is romance as well and not just the unforgiveness between Falcon and Cassandra. They have a history, most of it bad now. Before they were so in love but "things " got in the way and Falcon totally shut the door on Cassandra. Its making it really tough to work together; you can almost feel the anger bursting out of Falcon. He has coping skills; not healthy ones but I'm not going to reveal that here. I will say it isn't one I liked. BUT it was something I could believe when reading some of the stuff he faced as a person, not just as a warrior. It did make me angry with him when I read how many times he refused to forgive Cassandra and was so mean to her. Every chance he got he verbally attacked her. Ouch. It made me want to smack him in the head. I guess that shows that the author really did draw me into the story. 
The action was really good in this book. The fire fights and ambushes were too. They begin to suspect someone is a "mole" feeding information to their enemies because someone is always a step or two ahead of them. They had more enemies than just one person This book had more twists and turns than a winding country road but I loved that!
This is the first book of this series that I have read but it wasn't hard to just jump into it. I am finding that there is another book in this series that I had thought about getting to read. It's called "Hawk- book #2" and I didn't realize at the time that it was by this author or a part of this series. 



I received  a copy of this book  via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.